The initial application was submitted through a portal that could only be accessed on Tuesdays between 2 PM and 2:05 PM. The screening process was handled by an AI named "Synergy," which analyzed the candidate's resume not for keywords, but for the astrological alignment of their birth date with the company's founding date.
The first interview was a video call with a senior manager who only spoke in metaphors related to ancient forestry techniques. The candidate was asked to describe their project management style using analogies involving pruning deciduous trees and maintaining a healthy root system. The interview was followed by a 15-minute silent reflection period where both the candidate and the interviewer sat motionless, staring at a blank screen.